Season 1, Episode 2: Sexual Intercom


"I have finally given our guests something I've always wanted them to have. A third page to their bill." -Payne

"I can't remember the last time I had my hand kissed." -Connie
"I'd do it for you darling, but I'm usually too busy kissing your..." -Payne

"I love Latin men." -Connie
"I love Latin music, I don't lick the CDs." -Payne

"I have never seen you flirt with anyone, not even me." -Connie
"Well, I didn't have to, remember? You were easy." -Payne
"I prefer to remember it as charitable." -Connie

"She's like an emotional kidney stone." -Payne

"You are really enjoying this, aren't you?" -Connie
"Enjoying what? It's just a little harmless cream-whipping for a guest in need of a berry-topping." -Payne

"I can see the passion in your eyes." -Mrs. Valdez
"Oh, no, you know what? That's a broken blood vessel from a violent cough." -Payne

"What are you doing?" -Connie
"Making a point." -Payne
"About what?" -Connie
"I don't know." -Payne


Written by Jennifer Fisher, Directed by Michael Zinberg

Guest Stars Jonathan Nichols as Mr. Valdez, Terri Hoyos as Mrs. Valdez, Kris Hoover as Meredith.